Pizza Hut Park


If the FIFA World Cup does not spark the American public into appreciating the beautiful game then nothing will. Their run in the tournament was full of the fairytale drama and excitement that Americans love.
Fluke strikes and spectacular late goals are the sort of fantastical storylines that should satisfy their need for Hollywood stardust within their sports.

Yet I can’t help but feel that their ultimate failure in the tournament will lead them to continue with their stubborn dismissal of it. I think their intrinsic arrogance will put them off a sport in which they are merely mediocre. They are more than happy to play “The World Series” in which they are the only nation competing. The sports they like most are sports that the rest of the world don’t really play. Basketball, Baseball, Ice Hockey and American Football. The fact it’s called American football surely renders celebrating how good they are at it ridiculous. Maybe Ice Hockey would be even more popular if Canada didn’t get involved and beat them.

The funny thing is though, “soccer” is the most played sport in America. It just is rarely watched. They love playing it, hate watching it. They love watching American football though with its five second bursts of action, cheerleaders and commercials, before another five second burst of angry helmet bumping as the cycle continues. You see Americans are a bit like children, as they go crazy for tedious repetition. You see Americans are a bit like children, as they go crazy for tedious repetition. You see Americans are a bit like children, as they go crazy for tedious repetition. Coca-Cola! You see Americans are a bit like children, as… I digress. I’m a Stewart Lee fan so maybe I can be accused of some hypocrisy here. But yeah only in America could a team play in the Pizza Hut Park. My point is though that football does not really lend itself to American television. Football is two forty-five minute stretches and by the end it may even end 0-0. The average Americans sports fan’s attention span would struggle to cope with the admittedly lengthy but also flowing nature of it. They need life affirming bangs to jolt their interest, most will never appreciate the hypnotic beauty of a Spanish passing move.

If they were just to have a wee sneaky peek to the south of them they may be able to learn a lot from their South American neighbours. The passion and flair that they have is what football is all about, not PG-rated fun and smiles. An American “Soccer” stadium is packed to rosters (actually not packed, never) with the proverbial prawn sandwich munchers- just there to enjoy the ball game. This is sadly all just very American.

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “Pizza Hut Park

  1. Lowrie

    Not impressed

  2. Robs

    Like the subject, although, dislike the racism towards all Americans.

  3. Crazy Dave

    A very interesting read. The term “soccer mom” was coined for a reason. However, I would pay money to see an American eat a prawn sandwich at a baseball/football game when there’s cheeseburgers, hotdogs, cheeseburgers and other abominations available.

  4. lorna

    There are no words but one……………………BORING!!!! xxx
    mwhahaha kiddinggg love 😉

  5. ewen

    aw a see what you’ve done there with the repetition, nice 😀

  6. Lowrie

    You make many fair points, I’m just interested in when some enraged American starts a comment war 🙂

  7. Gav

    Interesting read, you made a lot of fair points. I did like the repatition part quite a bit. It would be interesting to see the other side of the argument too.

  8. Haydo

    I think you Win this argument, I would like to see the otherside but I don’t think they would make as many points.

  9. jamie

    you make some very good points but i think the “americans are this, americans are that” stuff should be toned down a bit because it seems a bit pointed and is borderline racist at parts, but it is good and at points quite funny (the repitition part fr example)

  10. Calum

    Mogo! I agree with you about the Americans :L

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