Spew bags, eh!? What they all about!?

Hollie is clearly a host who understands her demographic. Hollie’s target audience are obviously people who are keenly interested in spew bags. A random but inspired question from Hollie, although she didn’t really ask us anything, she just threw spew bags out there and has left us to generate our own questions. It makes me wonder why this segment is even called “Ask Hollie”, when it appears that she’s the one doing the asking, sort of. Anyway, first class.

Crime in Bishopbriggs went up by 10% last year. Is this the result of more efficient policing or a genuine crime surge?

I  went round the local area of Bishopbriggs to uncover the hot spots for under age drinking and anti-social behavior.

Although these places may seem trivial woodland and appear to be inconspicuous, they are rich with history and meaning.

1. The Park

Located behind Stanley Drive and surrounded by the woods, the long path leading down to it means there is plenty of reaction time given to spot police coming down.

2. The Abandoned Gypsy Area

Through the hole in the fence at the back of the park is the abandoned gypsy area. It is commonly used as a getaway shortcut.

3. The Blocks

At the far end of the gypsy area is “the blocks”. They are basically just big cinder blocks.

4. The Nollie

Located along the canal past the sports centre. It is through a secret route near Cawder golf course. I can’t understand the appeal of it as it is very far away and you have to walk through stinging nettles to get there. Also it is basically just marshland. It is extremely hidden though.

5. The Youth Cafe

When it was first opened, it was run over by neds. Now it is the place that chrisian biker gangs go to dwell.

6. The Camel Humps

Located at the end of Park Road along the railway track. They are a series of hills that many young children cross to reach the “Haunted House”. It is also a place that teenagers have used it to get onto the railway line to use it as a shortcut.

7. The Junk Yard (The JY)

Near the gypsy area, hidden by trees and the Asda billboard. Perhaps the most common hiding place. Has the best of both worlds as it is hidden as well as having a quick route to Asda.

In the infamous Anthony Burgess novel “A Clockwork Orange”, I believe the most interesting aspect is the development of the main character, Alex Delarge.

The style of “A Clockwork Orange” is simply breathtaking. Written in “Nadsat” an Anglo-Russian concoction of colloquialisms that are used by the youth of tomorrow. This dazzling new language is a joy to hear and say, a near Shakespearean cocktail of funny phrase-making and jazzy-riffs. It’s a true mark of Burgess’ bravery as a writer that he would invent a new language, safely believing that readers would not only accept it but also take the time to learn it.

In the beginning Alex simply goes around causing misery for those around him for his own amusement. His thoughts towards other people’s emotions are childish, he doesn’t seem to grasp the suffering that he is causing. His one redeeming quality though is that he is not hateful, he is not committing these atrocities out of anger or hate but because of the fun he gets out of it. Or maybe that is actually what defines him as pure evil?

He is inevitably caught and jailed for his actions after being grassed by his friends who had grown resentful of his perceived leadership. Now in the hands of a vengeful state, Alex is put through the torturous “Ludivico Technique”. Through the combination of powerful drugs and a series of video nasties, Alex becomes paradoxically repelled from badness. Now if even a hint of a shadow of a dark thought should flicker in his mind, an immense sickness will take over him.

This is where the main theme of the story is highlighted. His free will has been removed, rendering him no more human than a clockwork orange. No longer filled with all the sweetness and colour of life, like an orange but is now a clockwork man, robbed of the god-given gift of moral choice. The prison charlie is, if you will, the spokesperson of this idea:

“He has no real choice has he? Self interest, fear of physical pain, drove him to that grotesque act of self-abasement. It’s insincerity was clearly to be seen. He ceases to be a wrongdoer. He ceases also to be a creature capable of moral choice.”

After a failed suicide attempt by Alex was induced by a revenge-mad former victim of Alex, who exploited the musical glitch in the effects after Alex wandered unknowingly into his sanctuary, the brainwashing was reversed and the government had to sweeten Alex with bribes of dream employment opportunities. It ends with a newly free willed Alex deciding for himself to be good, without the aid of outside influence (this was famously left out of the film, which left you with the return of evil Alex).

“A Clockwork Orange” is a ground-breaking novel with prophetic sentiments that are becoming increasingly relevent in the world today. It is a warning of an encroaching state and the dangers of having our independence robbed. It is also a optomistic view on humanity and suggests that, if given the chance, we will always revert to goodness. I doubt that’s true but it’s a nice thought isn’t it?

“What’s it gonna be then, eh?”

When Nick Clegg was making his big bid for power, pleading to the nation to vote Lib Dem, he promised many things. One of which was that he would scrap tuition fees altogether. However this seemed only to be viable to him during the election as, amazingly, when he got the power to make that pledge a reality, he signed Torrie plans that now allows universities to charge up to £9000.

The coalition government that we now have is one of those weird loopholes in democracy that allows everyone to feel cheated. The perennial minnows, the Liberal Democrats, came third as usual but due to the indecision or  rather conflicting preferences of the public as a whole, third place Lib Dems now had the power to choose our government. They became kingmakers. For days after the “result” news crews were left in limbo, working over time as Nick Clegg courted both Cameron and Brown as they tried to win his hand. It was like The Thick of it mixed with There’s Something About Mary. Here’s the thing, if it wasn’t first-past-the-post (FPTP) that we were using and instead it was single transferable vote (STV) or alternative vote plus (AVP) then pretty much every Lib Dem voter would have had Labour as their second pick, which may have led to a different outcome. But even so, here was Nick Clegg’s chance to represent those second picks of his voters and align with Labour. But no, he stabs his own voters in the back (something they would have to get used to) by siding with the Conservatives and justifies his decision by stating he wants to give a fairer representation of what the public wants and needs.

What we needed was a strong, united government. The whole notion that  is even possible now is naive. The marriage of the Liberal Democrats and the Conservatives is such and odd pairing. There’s even a clue in their names that they kind of have different vibes. The liberal party or the students and stuffy old party of the posh. Despite this being British politics and and the tags of left and right being blurred as each party now fights for the same middle ground, it still feels torn.

Well not torn- lopsided. We have a subservient Nick Clegg and a disappointed David Cameron who has to make do with the fact that he has some orange tied liberals in his government.

Now back to the original topic, the tuition fees. This is without a doubt the pinnacle of our “coalition” government’s power imbalance. Nick Clegg was adamant during the election campaign that if he got into power he would scrap the tuition fees, adamant so he was. It was a real vote winner. Especially amongst his most loyal demographic, the students. He was passionate about not putting a price on education and all that mumbo jumbo, blah blah blah. I can be flippant about it now in hind sight. Anyway all i’m  saying is he made a big song and dance about that promise.

Now as things were, these Lib Dem MPs, many of which were voted in thanks to student votes, were very much divided. Not knowing whether to: one, vote against the fee increases (as they said they would remember) two, vote for the increases for the sake of stability or three, do the very Lib Dem thing and abstain as they are allowed to do as part of a coalition.

There’s the democracy of our coalition government, working together to achieve purely government stability rather than the public’s national interest

Labour have attacked our comic coalition, our “CON-DEM” party, and it’s divided disloyalty. Labour Deputy leader, Harriet Harman has cleverly attacked with a  school-themed jibe, comparing Nick Clegg to a first year fresher getting “led astray”.

“We all know what it’s like: you are at freshers’ week, you meet up with a dodgy bloke and you do things that you regret. Isn’t it true he has been led astray by the Tories, isn’t that the truth of it?”

Is it though that Nick Clegg is a little bit surprised by his unlikely rise to importance?

Even after his epic name remembering at the first leaders debate catapulted him into being somewhat relevant. Honestly the way he was able to remember people really was amazing and impressive, more amazing than how easily impressed the public are. Who would have thought that just a simple little ploy like that would make the Lib Dems seem viable. I’m such a hypocrite to knock it though as I, like the gullible student I am, voted Lib Dem.

But yeah, isn’t he just a little bit dumbfounded and suffering from a little bit of stage fright? Like a confused toddler who has been screaming for attention, finds himself embarrassed and as there is hush and all eyes turn on him. So he panics and wilts. All of the fluff and empty promises during the election campaign were just manifesto filler and had the sole purpose of portraying an image for the Lib Dems, as in the expected reality they would never have the responsibility to deliver. So it was such a let down when they got their disproportional power and immediately conformed to Torrie ideas.

Anarchy followed. The students went mental and protested with mild violence for days. Fire extinguishers were thrown about like nobodies business and they even poked Camilla ‘Duchess of Cornwell’ with a stick. They just weren’t very happy about being conned. Vote robbed.

The protest aside, what does this means for the three main parties and their three different view points on the issue. Labour, the only party not in power, must be looking at the mayhem with glee. They have elected a new leader who is trying to distance himself from the old “New Labour” as much as possible. Labour leader Ed Miliband has described the vote’s result as “disappointing” for young people and said politics was at an “even lower ebb”.  So basically they come out of this pretty positively. The Lib Dems are very much the whipping boys of this story. Thoroughly accused by their voters of stabbing them in the back and look like the Tony Blair to the Conservatives George Bush. Ironically, gaining power has been the worst thing that could have happened to them. Despite Nick Clegg securing a concession for pupils who receive free school meals to get their tuition fees paid by the state, softening the blow for the poorer of society, he still is picking up the flack. Vince Cable has described the fees as “fair and progressive”. The Conservatives on the other hand have not let down their middle to upper class supporters who are mainly unaffected by the fees increase and anyway the Conservatives did not promise anything different.

The Justification

This is an issue of local, national and international importance. It is a national issue because it was a massive issue in the campaigns leading up to the general election and the flip-flopping of one of the nation’s biggest parties highlights a problem within our national politics.Electoral reform is something that always seems to crop up after an election and this was no different. As part of the partnership between Clegg and Cameron, Clegg was promised a referendum on electoral reform, believing that a different voting system may be beneficial to the Lib Dems, however that may not be the case after how they have behaved in the spotlight.

It is a local issue as communities will be more divided. The class system will be more evident than ever as poorer areas will become poorer and richer will become richer. Social mobility will be stifled and families from poorer communities will be trapped in a poverty cycle. Crack heads breed crack heads until one generation they have a wee clever baby who wants to learn, too bad he’s poor so no university or good job for him, might as well hit the booze and continue the cycle. I believe the Torries love the idea of these social circles floating around each other in their own little worlds, never merging like a free-flowing spirograph but completely separate. Reports from the Sutton Trust are now suggesting that poorer pupils are 55 times less likely to make it into Oxbridge.

It’s an international issue because it hinders the education of our nation as a whole and thusly how many bright young people we produce to the world. Also Cameron has been in China promising that International students would not find it any more difficult securing places at British universities as a result of the vote.

Ok, I don’t know why but this image just makes me smile.

I think it’s just the absurd mixture of ice-cream and lollipops and the simple title of “My Happy Day”. The universally induced nostaligia from the child stickmen and their individual hairstyles. More it’s the easilly pleased title that I like. “My Happy Day”. The notion that a happy day could merely be eating ice-cream and lollipops with a friend. Not like being grown up or in the process of growing up where everything seems to be flying at you at 100mph. We should take more time to acknowledge happiness and tweed pleasures that life brings.

Now before I start let me point out that I like to think of myself as being fairly liberal…

Reform. Reform isn’t fair. There is no justice in reform. Retribution and
revenge, now that’s fair. An eye for an eye? No, f*** that. An eye for two eyes- and a nose. That’ll teach you for stealing folk’s eyes. Justice is: getting even and then delivering punishment.

Deterrence. The best way to stop crime is to have a legitimate deterrence. One that people will be fearful of. What type of message does this send to all the little neds on our streets? Go around smashing windows and just generally be a wee anti-social prick because if anyone catches you THEY will get done for kidnapping?

We live in an unfair world and people just accept it. A world where rapists are reformed, paedophiles aren’t shot on sight and mass murdering terrorists get freed for being a bit poorly.

All this happens because we are told that we are ‘better than that’ but why should we be? I am sick of being forced to take the moral high ground. F*** the moral high ground. It’s a self-righteous podium for patronising twats to preach from. Bring back the death penalty and be done with it.

LEAVE COMMENTS BELOW YEAH <3  \/

The Obligatory God Article
BY MORGAN MCLEARY

Recently I had a little facebook debate about religion. It was sparked by a fairly mild post by Andrew Gay about the popes (he’s just a man who is worshipped by fools- thus he does not deserve a capital letter) visit to Scotland. That seemed to inspire a series of snobbish comments about the wonderful concept of religion. To me this seemed to be two things, a debate in which the atheist’s point of view was being wildly neglected and also a perfect opportunity to cause mass offence while smirking. It was funny. The debate then turned into something where I talked sense and the players for the other team either gave up or naively bit back with more gibberish. Anyway I got satisfaction from shooting down their faith, so I’m going to do a whole article on it. While smirking.

god

Anyway, one of the main points and was actually the foundation of the argument itself, was the idea that a “benevolent” religion would greatly benefit the lives of some people. Which is just a stupid thing to suggest. Religion can only make you boring. You do not need religion to teach morality.

If you do not know the difference between right and wrong without reading it in a fairytale disguised as non-fiction, then you really are a danger to society.

An example given was that if the people from the BBC documentary “The Scheme” had religion in their lives they wouldn’t be such deadbeats. Actually because they are so stupid I suppose they would make the perfect candidates for conversion. There’s the idea that, ‘well they don’t respect the laws of the police, how about a super being?’ but there’s also the idea that if they don’t respect the laws of the police, from the physical realm, who can affect you in the real world, why would they respect a mere concept, who’s punishments are all imaginary?

They’re playing it quite fast and loose with the word “benevolent” there as well. Religion makes millions by exploiting their deluded followers.

Another argument was that ‘you can’t disprove god’. This is their final and most mighty barricade. This is Helms Deep. Forget the facts and the evidence, the logic and the sense- you can’t 100% disprove him so we win. Ha. I always imagine a toddler saying this and then sticking his tongue out. We can’t disprove the impossible so that’s obviously a reason to believe? You can’t disprove a lot of crazy shit but that doesn’t mean it should be believed.

Here’s the thing. The one and only piece of evidence for any faith is their holy books. The bible is so full of crap that it should really be rendered as deeply unreliable information. If you are to believe the bible then you would have to believe that the world is only 6000 years old. That is proven to be false. Fact. Undeniable, the bible is wrong. Adam and Eve were the first living beings. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. We evolved from monkeys. The bible lied again. Noah built an ark and took two of every… blah blah blah, bollocks bollocks bollocks. We all know it. These are just the famous things that have been disproved, there are many many more. So the one piece, THE ONE PIECE, of “evidence” for god is full of lies and fabrications that should destroy it’s credibility. But apparently not. Believers cling to their faith despite all this. Without evidence or anything to stand up for religion the very least they could have done is make a holy book not full of lies that can be disproved.

This is why I feel the label “fundamentalist” is ridiculous. If you are going to be religious, surely you have to follow it word for word unless what’s the point? Christians can’t just go ‘I think I’m going to tolerate homosexuals, yeah you’re wrong on this one god’. They can’t just pick and choose what parts of the religion they want to follow, that just defeats the whole purpose as well as being f***ing stupid. I have more respect for fundamentalist nutcases than I do for self-righteous pricks who meekly follow the rules.

Another word on fundamentalists. Look at all the f***ed up evil shit religion has inspired people to do. Look at the wars and killings religion has caused. Yeah it’s a real benefit to the world, well done.

That’s me unloaded my first ammo clip. I may return to this meaty topic one day because there’s a lot of stuff I have left out. Feel free to dispute what I’ve said, there is no idiot filter installed on this blog so fire away. God Bless.

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